e.b.’s world

Last week’s intro to our ceremony and cocktail hour location was so warmly received that I decided you needed to know more about our wedding plans. That and this week was really great in terms of getting things done.  Plus you all made me feel so much better about the whole process, our decisions, and our attitude towards it - which has made a huge difference.  Also, this weekend is our engagement party so we are in full wedding mode and totally excited right now.  We are also preparing to have to give money back to Weight Watchers come Monday morning because aside from the party, there is dinner tonight, a brunch on Sunday and a fancy steak house meal on Sunday night.  Hello fat pants welcome back!

So while we stuff our faces and get overloaded with family, friends, and more boxes from Crate and Barrel I will leave you with these few thoughts. 

Thought number one:

These are the entry way shots to our reception area.  I am not showing you the inside reception area, because when we were there they were setting up for this charity event thing-y and there were all these horrible bright turquoise (is turquoise ever not bright?) decorations every where and it was just not okay (you can almost see it through the etched glass door way).  But you can imagine it as you will and understand that all three walls are entirely windowed leading out to the porch I showed you last week. Also ignore the ladies arm - they were setting up the flowers and table numbers for that charity event thingy.

Thought Number Two

Our flowers.  This is one area we have done nothing about yet.  Yeah, I swear we  likely have a band, we defintely a photographer, and a videographer, a wedding coordinator, our invitations designed and everything.  But not one single meeting or appointment has even been contemplated with a florist.  EEK! Oh well.  Despite that - I am really liking the bright colors, something like this perhaps? It goes well with the whole THIS IS FLORIDA idea we have. Unique, I know.

You like?

Have a good one people!

Almost two months ago we had a string of days where we had a bunch of flies in the house.  I think this was because we left out back door open to enjoy the “spring” like weather.  But that is just a guess.  As a result we learned yet another quirk of our always full of joy eight year old beagle - she is afraid of flies.  As soon as one caught her attention she darted around from corner to corner her ears pinned to head, totally fearful.  She couldn’t quite get comfortable knowing that the BIG SCARY fly would attack her at any minute, so she was constantly on the move.  And as you know it is really damn difficult to catch and kill a fly on our part, so this went on for hours.  And also we thought it was hysterical.  She was frantic and panting and really didn’t know what to do with her little body.  At her wits end she found what she thought was a safe harbor. 

You know, because a fly possibly can’t reach her ALL THE WAY UP THERE.  Failing to realize what is inherent in their name - THEY FLY.  In the interim she also prodded and poked her 30 pound body into Magoo as she stumbled desperately to get to the top of the couch.  He wants you to know that a Beagle paw to the groin is not as fun as it sounds. And yes, that he really is sleeping.

Now that we have established weird quirk number 42 for the Beagle, let me ask you this.  Would she get along with a Siamese cat? And for you cat people out there - are Siamese agreeable cats by nature?  We have exposed Ginger to several of our friends cats and she adores them.  When we see cats on our walk she wants to approach and befriend them not knowing that cats and dogs are enemies and has been hissed and swatted at several times.  So I am less worried about her and more about how the cat will react.  Though I am also worried about our carpets and how Ginger may abuse those if she feels threatened by a new addition.  Thoughts?

Remember this picture?  Well since then that box grew a box, which then grew another box, then the purse I wanted finally came (and by that I mean it went on sale and I finally ordered it) and then there was this issue with some tank tops from Jcrew, and lets say our entire front entrance area has been eaten by packaging.  Which is totally crazy because this is only the beginning.  I checked and over the weekend a handful more gifts were snatched up off the registry, which sadly means more boxes.  I love that people love us enough to purchase us gifts, but I don’t think they understand how fundamentally lazy we are in terms of cleaning up after ourselves or that we have closets full of stuff that we have not yet gotten rid of to replace with new shiny stuff. Oh and that I can’t stop shopping online. 

One item in one box that came about a week ago was an ice cream maker.  I am so beyond thrilled by this development and have repeatedly clapped my hands, jumped up and down and sang, “ice ceam, ice ceam” much to Magoo’s (dis)pleasure.  When in fact I have no intent of making any “ice ceam” because my belly would not appreciate it, but do have some serious summer plans for sorbet and get this, slushie alcohol drinks because the Cuisinart book said that it can be used to do so.  First up, per the request of my mother, chocolate sorbet.  Which to be honest is not something I would ever want since if I wanted chocolate I would just have some and not eat something flavored like chocolate.  Which also explains my dislike of cake.  I know back in the beginning of the year that was an item on my list and now a mere five months later I can cross that one off to. Whew. Like 176 more things to go.

In totally unrelated news, how did LC go about quiting her internship at Teen Vogue to work at People’s Republic? Does anyone know any details about that.  I hate serious gaps like that. And yes I know, The Hills is filled with them. Though god bless them and their pretend show, it saddens me that the season is over.

Seriously people I just had the best weekend ever.  I mean not in the traditional sense but it was honestly what I needed.  We had this really awesome dinner on Friday night that I threw together after selecting a random cookbook and opening it to a random page.  It honestly took 13 minutes to make and I bragged all the way to the airport that I am an Italian goddess.  Which I totally am not and Magoo let me know the entire way to the airport.  The only really big issue occurred not 10 minutes after that as we pulled into the long term parking garage and immediately got a flat tire.  I mean we were able to get the car into a legal and proper parking space but of course had to leave it there because we had a flight to catch.  I always love empty flights since we get to stretch out and naturally who is flying from Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale at 10 pm on a Friday night?

We shopped some on Saturday as is our tradition when we go to Magoo’s parents house as there is a ridiculous outlet mall not five minutes away. Normally it is an absolute mad house and really that element makes the deals not worth it.  But oddly (since WE ARE NOT in a recession right??) the mall was totally dead.  So odd, right???  We spent the rest of the afternoon doing NOTHING. I will swear I don’t know when was the last time we did nothing.  I mean between traveling and the wedding and having friends (which is a great thing and I am not complaining because sometimes I complain to Magoo that we don’t have friends) but we don’t do a whole lot of nothing.  And this weekend we did and we really needed it.  Because this coming weekend and the few others right ahead of that are going to get hectic again.  Hectic in an entirely good way, but hectic.

We then did back to back to back family time, including a seven year old birthday party, a one year old birthday party and dinner with my mom for mother’s day.  With a short but incredibly bumpy plane ride in between that left Magoo looking green and of course also a small delay to wait for the guy to change our tire. Oh and also a brief, very brief, moment at the airport where we thought our car had been stolen or even towed for having a flat but in reality we were standing on the wrong floor. Uh yeah, maybe all that sun and doing nothing got to our brains.  Because I had actually called security and they were the ones who told us that we are giant dumb asses and our car was parked where left it with a flat tire two floors below.

Hello people.  We are off to Ft. Lauderdale this evening for a weekend with Magoo’s family.  He has a bunch of nephews, which are all boys because that is all they can birth apparently, and some of those boys are having birthdays.  Also, as you all know, its Mothers Day.  That is all for the weekend except for the fact that several times during this week I insisted that Magoo and I jump a plane and head to Barbados and elope.  Except for that detail.  Because this week has blown hard and I have suffered some serious hatred for all that is wedding planning.  I know that it is supposed to be about the end result, but I don’t really see anyone else thinking that.  I see people constantly nagging me and I get paid to deal with nagging at work so I really don’t need that in my off-hours.

I am better now and we are back into positive, this is easy-breezy, wedding planning mode.  So I wanted to leave you with some bits and pieces of the planning so far.  Below you are looking at the lawn area where we will actually be married, it is on a golf course grounds and in the background you can see the marina and the Inter-coastal.  I am hoping they will dress it up some, you know maybe put down some chairs and even a table so people can have cocktails.  But maybe that is me being a Bridezilla.  Or picky.  Trust me I’ve been called worse.

These two are part of the porch area where we will have COCKTAILS, it wraps around the outskirt of the building and as you can see above as a path down to the ceremony lawn area.  See, see that bar down there?  Yes that is where they serve the happy drinks to our well lubricated guests.  Also? Can you pray that it is a) not raining and b) not the one day in January in Florida that is 39 degrees. Because as you can see, the first hour plus is all outside and I know for a fact that people like their palm trees with a side of sunshine.  Okay thanks, I promise to save you a cocktail.

That’s all for now folks.  More to come as the weeks go on.  I am open to suggestions and questions and only mildly open to criticism, but just warn me ahead of time so I can come prepared with a vodka and a xanax.  Have a great weekend.

Magoo went to see Iron Man last night, which was the most totally awesome thing I could think of.  Because as some of you know, me and wedding planning and yesterday were becoming fatal, bloody even.  I almost think that amount of rage and anger I was generating could have caused another sort of natural disaster type cyclone in Asia.  I was given three straight solid hours of me time.  Alone. To myself.  Does anyone understand what that means? Because if you asked me at this time yesterday I would say, can you repeat that again in a language I know, like Turkish?

Aside from some needed stress relief on the treadmill and a diet treat of blood orange sorbet (seriously this shit is amazing, diet or not, try some), I got to enjoy ELECTION NIGHT COVERAGE.  God this is like the best part of Tuesday nights ever, well almost as good as when the Gilmore Girls used to be on Tuesday nights, and it is too bad that I have to wait four years to come to know such pleasure.  See, Brandy, I told you this one would be for you.

Magoo came home shortly before 11 and crashed, but he had no chance in hell in getting me into bed.  There was election news! And breaking news! And controversy! I mean those votes in Lake County, where were they? This is so unusual, or so they repeated like every fifth second. What is going on with the mayor of Gary, Indiana?  What is Hilary going to do about this? God I love a good conspiracy theory on a Tuesday night.  So I stayed there glued to the TV, until, well until I passed out and found out that Clinton took Indiana. La-di-da.  But seriously there for like a whole 15 minutes there that I was riveted and thinking about how awesome the morning news cycle was going to be.

That and it totally reminded me of election night 2000, which I am sure everyone has some sort of memory about.  It was a normal enough night, I know that I bought a pair of black patent boots that afternoon which I wore to death until after I graduated from law school and that I kind of still miss today.  I also know we sat around the T.V. and drank margaritas, but honestly that was totally normal for any given night, because that is what you do at midnight.  At least that is what we did, most nights at midnights we got out the blender, a bottle of tequila and some lime-aid and had MIDNIGHT MARGARITAS.  If you were sleeping, you were awoken, given a frosty drink and a straw and forced to partake.  Which was always so funny, because it was usually my roommate who was the early to bed one and all through our Freshman year she was convinced I had a party every time she went to bed early. So this was totally my way of showing her that, yes, I actually was partying without you but now you are old enough to join in, so enjoy your tequila and stop whining.

As for this night though, as we all know too well, the election returns dragged on and on and we all became somewhat bored because where was this going? And how come we ran out of tequila? Until around midnight central time they announced that they were going to count my actual ballot on CNN.  Hear that Brandy?  I watched them count my absentee ballot for Hillsborough County Florida around 1 am eastern time.  This was such a highlight, especially because it was NOT AT ALL SIGNIFICANT.  Turns out Al Gore still lost anyway. Who knew?

While walking the dog at 10:30 on Monday night.

M:  I listened to an NPR podcast on Jerry Springer today when I was out exercising.

e.b.:  On what show?

M: This American Life, it was actually really interesting, he seems like a really intelligent man.

e.b.: Did they mention that he went to Tulane? Because you know, he went to Tulane. See, intelligent people go there.

M: No they didn’t mention that.  But they did talk about how he wanted to get back into politics and he did look into running in New Orleans.

e.b.: Well did they mention whether he was still married to that lady.

M: No, they didn’t mention anything personal like that.  And specifically, what lady?

e.b.: Not Ann Curry, that other famous Asian reporter lady.

M:  He is most definitely not married to Ann Curry (laughing hysterically at me)

e.b.: I KNOOOOOW. But it is an Asian lady who used to be more famous and now she is gone

M: You mean Connie Chung? Sweet heart she is married to Maury Povich

e.b.: Whatever, same difference.

*****

Not one minute later

M: Lets see the running man

{Me flailing my arms and legs in various directions simulating a poor dance move.}

M: That was the running man?

e.b.: Well some distorted version of it, sure.

M: Okay, how ’bout the cabbage patch?

e.b.: I am not sure if I know this one - but I’ll give it a go

{Similar image of my flailing my limbs about awkwardly with even less rhythm, if that is possible.}

M: So this is how we spent our time in the 1990’s?

e.b.: Well not entirely there was also La Bamba

{This time my arms and legs are flailing about in a supposed sexual manner while also gyrating my hips which I know was so beyond uber-sexy since I am wearing running shorts and a sports bra and flip-flops and also because I am white}

M: I think you meant the Lambada, but really whatever you are doing should be forbidden.

On Friday afternoon I got a bug in butt that I needed a margarita.  Maybe it was knowing that today would be Cinco de Mayo, you know I plan ahead and all and like to get a jump start on things.  Of course we don’t have tequila or anything by which to make a margarita at our house.  And god forbid I wait until we go to dinner to start drinking.  So I began at 6 pm with a Seven and Seven.  And then at 7, I was able to order my first margarita of the night.  After proclaiming I didn’t like it very much, yet drinking it in about 20 minutes, I told the waiter I didn’t want another one because this one was too sweet.  He blinked hard about three times and told me I was the first ever person to report that since he had worked there because that was pretty much straight tequila with some lime flavoring and ice.  There was nothing sweet about it.  Upon hearing what he was up against, he said he would take care of me.  I assume he did because I honestly don’t remember the next drink, er I mean drinks.  I know that the night ended around 1 am and I am told I cried myself to sleep. I am sure I had a perfectly good reason for that.

Because that was not enough of a reason for me not to have a perfectly wonderful Saturday, I met Ms. Magnet Babe for lunch AND two beers.  We sweated in the hot Florida sun, enjoyed conversation about the fact that she is now a Phd, how crazy awesome is that, and some wedding talk.  I eventually stumbled over to the mall where Magoo and I killed a few hours in the air conditioning, shopping for presents, shopping for ourselves and just shopping in general, I think we nearly went into every store.  But since it had been like a whole five hours without an alcohol infusion, we went home, showered and changed and headed to a party where he and I knocked off a bottle of wine in an hour.  This seemed like it would be a good time to go home and call it a day.  That is if you weren’t us.  If you were us you would go to a corner dive bar, order ridiculously strong and crazy cheap drinks and sit there for another few hours.  This time there was no crying involved, thankyouverymuch, though Magoo did get hit on while I went to the bathroom.  I am not sure who founded this funnier. Especially after some very strong Jack and Gingerales.

We woke up on Sunday morning surprisingly not hung-over since I am pretty sure at this point my body thinks that H20 is actually CoH.  I spent another four straight hours without any drinks (I know the horror!) and we did our weekly lawn project.  This is the kind of project that may take another, more efficient couple, a day or so to complete.  Since we are not that couple, we are on week four of it AND we are not done.  Not only are we not efficient, in fact I tend to be overly anal about cleaning our yard thinking that every damn leaf needs to be picked up, but we had decided to ignore the fact that we had a yard for the past year.  Hello weeds! After showering and realizing that it was already noon and I was sober, we headed to a party that was meant to celebrate and watch the air fest, but was really an excuse to sit in the sun and drink our faces off.  Which we did.  And at 6 we picked ourselves up off the floor, if only I were kidding there were really people on the face down on the floor, we drove to a dinner and consumed some more alcohol.  Of course to top it off we also received one of our first engagement presents, a set of 12 goblets, which we have decided to use as wine glasses, despite the fact that they are far, far bigger than a normal sized wine glas. You know, because apparently we are drinkers.

To say that I drank more this weekend than I have since I lived in New Orleans, four years ago, would not be an exaggeration.  To say that right now I feel like hot shit, would also not be one.  And to say that this Monday is going to suck, is absolutely right.  Good thing I already prepared for the fact that it is a drinking holiday - happy Cinco de Mayo!

Whose ready for Friday?

This week was a walk in the park, a path down a rose petal lane, a glass of ice cold lemon-aide compared to the one before.  In some strange way that I can’t ever fathom but I would love to bottle, Friday arrived faster, with fewer tears, one less anxiety attack, and 97 fewer cocktails than last weeks. And for that I am not certainly not complaining.  Bring on the weekend bitches. 

I’ve seen the other parts of the country with the crazy weather, my sister reported she wore her ski jacket or parka or whatever you call items that are not tank tops on Tuesday - and you know what I have to say about all that - THANK YOU. Because in comparison we have also had substantially cooler weather as well. And to see a 68 in May is glorious.  Mother effing glorious.  Any prolonging of the inevitable heat and humidity, the kind that makes you want to stick paper clips in your eye, is a reason to celebrate.  Wahoo! So to the rest of the country thank you and we love you for pushing down your non-spring like temps our way. 

In other news Ginger is doing much better after her traumatic few days. And by much better she has eaten both an ear plug and a got into the tupperware container that used to hold her food until she ate it. 

We are at that stage of the wedding planning where there is a constant list of crap to do and it never gets any shorter.  You know how each item you do seems to mean that another item creeps onto the list, as if all that time and energy you just spent making that one decision was as substantial as doing one sit up and considering it exercise.  Oh c’mon you so do that.  It also seems to mean that each day we have to do something, even if it is simply an e-mail or whine to each other about having to do something.  I mean there is always something.  The other newest lesson of wedding planning that we have learned is to involve as few people as possible.  Because you know that opinions are like assholes and we have a lot of those around.  Opinions I mean, of course, we have a lot of opinions.  So it is best to keep it between us.  And even sometimes just me, with no “input” from Magoo. Hi sweetheart, love you.

Thank you all for your comments and insight on the baby mama drama issue over the past few days. It was so interesting reading everyone’s ideas. Though it is a controversial topic and I am sure I have offended some people.  In fact I had the realization that I know for certain someone who I have definitively offended in the blog world.  It is kind of strange to affirmatively recognize it - this is such an odd forum that you know you’ve got to offend people from time to time, certainly since not everyones opinions are the same and of course tone cannot be understood all that clearly.  But also because we don’t always get the full story or the entire background.  As for the baby issue there is a lot more that goes into that decision then simply what was written and for each couple or even individual of course there are different and various factors.  But mostly you know what to each their own.

Phew okay, this is getting long and boring and somewhat tedious.  I have Lost to watch and you all have weekends to enjoy.  Go, enjoy, and have a cocktail for me.

The other morning while listening to the radio in the final stages of getting ready for the day, a local DJ read an e-mail from a listener.  The listener was a 25 year old male who had undergone a vasectomy at 18, when in a loveless marriage with two kids, knew he didn’t want anymore trouble.  His words, not mine. Apparently not too long after snip-snip, he gained some common sense and left the woman gaining custody of the two children. He had since met another woman, fallen in love and told her his unfortunate condition of infertility. Of course as you can imagine he wants a reversal, which costs, $12,000.00 of which he does not have and which  he explains why he need to involve the radio station.  But he also the point that is the most interesting, if you think vasectomies are not at all intersting, which is that his relationship cannot last without the two of them having a child of their own.

At this point I am bent over digging through my closet for the right shoes and Magoo is fastening his belt.  We both laugh. Well, because seriously, who gets a vasectomy as an answer to that problem? Me thinks divorce was a cheaper and less painful route to go.  But also because what does that say about his current relationship that it cannot last if they do not have a child together?  He already has two from the previous relationship that they raise together.  He also quickly admonished the idea of adopting a child or any other form of raising a child that would mean he would not have to undergo a vasectomy reversal.  So his need to the listeners of Tampa Bay and elsewhere (since this DJ broadcasts in other markets and won’t let you forget it) was a cry for help to raise the twelve grand to save his relationship.

At this point we flicked the radio off, turned off the lights, and shut the door (you know, don’t you shut your bedroom door when you are not home so your mangy little beagle does not sleep on your bed or poop on your floor?).  Walking down the hall towards the front of the house, Magoo looks at me and says, “We don’t need a child to make our relationship last.” In a tone that was not at all a question and one that did not have a hint of worry, as you could be inclined to read it as such.  I stop and look at him and laugh and say, “In fact probably the opposite.  I bet we would be just fine without a child.  We have so much on our lists still do.”

Which is honestly the truth.  If a child becomes a part of our life, well that is the life we will lead.  Loving it and caring for it in a way that we all expect.  But if one does not, well that is plenty too.  Then our lives become different and fulfilling in their own right.  We live the life on the other side of the list, which is not a default list or a sad list.  But an excellent one filled with equally compelling adventures.  And of course a far better shoe closet.

I know that people fall squarely on one side of this debate and those on the other.  I think it is possible to straddle the line.  Perhaps once we are married people won’t be so willing to let us live in that world.  I also think that those on the baby side tend to come across as harsher, more judgmental and less open.  But that could be me being harsher, more judgmental and less open.  Those who chose not to undertake child raising are no less of, well, anything than those who don’t.  We can see the merits clear as day.  I think it is important for everyone to see the value in living a life without having to bring in and bring up another life, regardless of the choice you make.  Yours is not any less important or valuable for a decision not to.  All are created equally. All have made decisions and choices that are right for them.  All should be allowed to live in that life free of critique or judgment.  Except maybe vasectomy man, he seems to have been a few sandwiches short of a picnic.